|A Day With EverymanHYBRID|
Nov 21, 2010
"A Day With EverymanHYBRID" is not a Video on the main EMH channel, but is instead on the channel of TheGreenFeathers. It shows the events from A Day With Green Feathers from his perspective. This was recorded during the November 21 MeetUp.
I had the oppritunity (sic) to spend an afternoon in Princeton with the members of EverymanHYBRID. We had a great time and I'm looking forward to hanging out with them again.
Camera starts on TheGreenFeathers’ feet (hereafter referred to as GF) . Swings up to Jessie, Vince and Evan. Lots of noise from stepping on leaves.
Jessie: [unintelligible “Can’t you go?”]
Evan is kicking the bottom half of an ancient rusting barrel with a hole in the bottom.
Vince: I’m going to leave it.
Jessie: Is it dirty?
Zoom in on barrel and Jessie’s vividly purple purse.
Evan: Huh. I know it’s a barrel. [unintelligible]
Camera moves up to Evan and Jessie partly obscured by a branch with dead oak leaves.
Evan: I’ll do a stretch real quick. [GF makes an amusement noise] Uhh. Damn it feels good to be a gangsta.
Vince?: Stretch it, Evan!
Jessie: God damn it, Evan!
Camera turns again to GF’s feet.
Evan: [top hat and monocle voice] Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta!
GF reaches a sandy path and turns the camera to Jeff looking out to where the path disappears behind a ridge.
Jessie: We are not alone.
Zoom to other hikers on the edge of vision. Camera turns left as Vince speaks.
Vince: They look weird without the [pine cones? Plain clothes?]
Camera pans to the rest of the group as they all speak at once.
Jessie: We are not alone.
Jeff: [unintelligible] Evan laughs.
Jessie: Someone on a bike?
Vince: [unintelligible, “walk backwards in jogging pants?” Woe to the fool who transcribes impromptu candid footage.] He’s dangling a camera by its loop at his side.
Evan: [mouth full] You got a Flip? He’s holding a bag of Lay’s potato chips in one hand.
Vince: Do not leave it in your car. It will get stolen. GF makes an amusement noise.
Evan: His got stolen.
Jeff: We had to explain everything like four times with you, bro. We had a whole spiel about the Flip.
Jessie: Looking at Evan. That was inappropriate.
Evan: Looking down into his potato chips. That wasn’t me.
Vince: That was the tree.
Jessie: Well, I know it wasn’t him. Vince and Jeff exchange more unintelligible words. Cuz’ those two are in front of us.
Camera turns to indistinct playground on the left. A slap can be heard.
Evan: Ho ho.
Jessie: Got you, jackass.
Abrupt cut to a bat house nailed to a tree. Still on sandy path with lots of leaves.
Vince: Hold on. Evan. Evan’s terrified of [you right now?]. He’s terrified of this.
Jessie: [unintelligible sentence] [Now you feel one for Allie?]
Vince starts jogging forward. Another cut. Jeff is in the foreground looking on, holding a Flip. Vince is hiding behind a telephone pole a little further up the path. Jessie laughs. Another quick cut.
Evan: We tried to get a…oh actually…it was actually Alex, right? Jeff nods solemnly. Dressed up as…um…dressed in the suit. Had him pretending to be a Slenderman. Someone gets a text message.
Jessie: Talking at the same time. I thought he was about to climb up that fucking [unintelligible].
Cut to asphalt path along the lake. Camera moves to Evan’s face. Vince and Jessie talk indistinctly in the background. Jessie mentions something “ten feet long”.
Evan: I don’t know, think of it like, uh…a slasher movie. You know, you make slasher movies, you make fun of slasher movies, you watch slasher movies, until somebody breaks into your house and fucking kills your family. Eats a chip. And then, oh! That wasn’t a movie. Evan turns away toward the lake. Camera turns to the rest of the rather subdued group but turns back to Evan when he starts talking again. You never know. You never fucking know, I tell you. You never know the kind of people, the kind of monsters that fucking [theatrically throws water bottle on the ground] walking around like normal people.
Vince: Get that.
Evan: I spilled water all over the place.
Vince: Get it. It’s a park.
Jessie: Yeah. Don’t litter dude.
Evan: Yeah, you’re right.
Vince: That’s the douchiest thing you can ever do. In a park.
Jeff: You mad?
Evan: I thought this was…look! It’s like a lot. You throw shit in a lot.
Vince: We’re in a park, not a lot.
Jessie: No, you don’t. You throw shit in a garbage can. (Vince: Yeah.) Whether you’re in a lot or not.
Evan: Do you see any garbage cans?
Jessie: No, you hold it ‘til you find a fucking garbage can.
Evan: Okay. Good Lord. It’s in the pocket.
Vince: And don’t throw it in the lake. Evan laughs. Lake--
Cut to the edge of a marshy field with long reeds. Vince is filming it and Evan is carefully stepping around him.
Jeff: No warning, you’re attacked by a Rattatat. Jessie laughs. Zoom in on a pale, dead, branchless tree in the middle of the field. Wow. That’s scary.
Someone male: [terrible Mickey Mouse impression] Ha ha! Someone should file copyright infringement!
Evan: This would be a good…uh…zombie apocalypse [trails off]
Jessie: Now I wanna [unintelligible]
Vince: Yeah, right?
Evan: [horror voice] Zombies.
Jessie: But wait, wait. Jeff! They’re in my purse.
The camera moves to Jeff, Vince and Evan but it’s too late to see whatever gesture makes them laugh.
Cut to Jessie riding Evan piggyback-style. They make gnawing noises at each other. Still on the asphalt path. Camera swings around to look at the woods.
Jessie: Om nom nom.
Evan: Look at that nest! Look. Jessie speaks indistinctly again.
Jeff: A grizzly bear comes out. How does this happen?
Evan: Ya’ll lookin’ at my nest? GF laughs.
Jeff: [You get my test?]
Evan: Sorry Mr. Grizzles.
Evan: Iz a’ight. Iz a’ight.
Jeff: It’s cool. It’s cool. I’m just making sure you’re not trashin’ out my recycling-free park. Stops to glare at Evan off-camera.
Evan: What? Jessie laughs. The group is approaching a small crossing path.
Cut to a narrower asphalt path, presumably the one crossing the main path we saw earlier. Evan and Jessie are in mid conversation. The group is approaching the lake.
Evan: It’s like six thousand towns between [unintelligible].
Jessie: I know.
Camera swings to either side, catching a glimpse of some kind of trail sign to the left. Vince and Jeff are speaking too far ahead to be heard.
Vince: It’s a bus stop.
Evan: You guys! Let’s all propose to each other right here.
Vince: There’s the bench and…oh, no with free beer.
Camera swings around on the ground for a while, revealing sand, gravel and grass.
Jessie: Oh, Evan, will you marry me? Laughs.
Evan: GreenFeathers, will you marry us? GF laughs.
Jeff: We’re in international waters, it’s okay.
Evan: What’s your real name, again?
Evan: Nick. I’m sorry.
Evan: I forget names like…Jessie laughs.
Evan: There you go.
The group enters a small shelter for a single bench. There are two beer bottles under the bench.
GF: Oh, they left their beer for us. Evan makes a disgusted noise.
Jessie: This is even less crusty than the first bench.
Evan: That means “and” in Spanish.
Vince: Alex and Wendy.
Evan: Alex y Wendy. Someone burps. The camera turns to the graffiti on the ceiling of the shelter. Ah, wha okay, they were sitting here and shitting into the bottles. Jessie laughs. That was it. That’s…some insane accuracy.
Jessie: That’s really good aim, yeah.
Jeff: Or they built a burn-after-reading contraption.
Jessie: Ow. Your knuckles are hard.
Vince?: I wasn’t listening.
Jessie: Your beautiful hands.
Evan: My beautiful hands hurt you.
Jeff: They’re beautiful hands.
Evan and Jessie: Beautiful hands.
Camera moves to Vince who is staring out into the lake.
Jessie: Your hands are all covered in [gray boogers?].
Evan: Requested by, uh, somebody.
Evan: And look, look, lookit, fangirls. Camera finally turns back to the bench with Jeff, Evan and Jessie.
Jessie: Are they gonna--are they gonna kill me now?
Cut to Jessie and Evan making a wave motion with their right hands. Back on an asphalt path.
Jessie: Because your hair is regaining its awesome wave.
Vince: No it’s not. Jessie stops waving and Evan continues with both hands directly behind her.
Jessie: That is like your only, your only…
Vince: Attractive quality?
Jessie: No, not your only attractive quality, your only, like, distinguishing feature. Evan stops waving and grabs Jessie’s shoulders.
Vince: I don’t have any distinguishing features. Purple text zooms in from the left and spells out this line. The camera then zooms in on Vince’s face and more text appears: “>zooms in on beard”.
Jeff says something unintelligible. Evan is guiding Jessie forward with his hands on her shoulders.
Evan: [I’m your backer?]
Jessie: I know. It’s strange because I’m trying to walk.
Someone male singing: [Wolfrider?] Ahhh.
Evan: It’s actually just me controlling you. Jessie stops abruptly and kicks at Evan. You’re close. But no cigar.
Jeff: Shouldn’t we get back to the parking lot?
Cut to Evan and Jessie outside a pair of red portable johns. They are each marked “Horizon”. Evan, Jessie and GF are all laughing.
Vince: I know you guys are gonna try to rock us. Evan starts pushing on the closer one. Stop it.
Evan: Moves on to the second and briefly shakes it once. He leans back, laughing harder. He imitates the Hulk pretending to push the two apart sideways. Reaugh!
Jessie kicks the second one.
Vince: You’re gonna put spy holes in the toilets.
Cut to the car. Jeff is driving, Vince has shotgun, Jessie’s in the back left passenger seat, Evan in the middle and GF on the right. “The Mariner’s Revenge Song” is playing.
Evan: Wait. Are people on their way?
Jeff: Don’t know. They’ve been on radio silence since this last night.
Evan: Well, we said twelve and it’s like…
Cut to the sidewalk outside Hoagie Heaven. Evan and Jessie are on a bench eating forkfuls of what is probably bliss.
Vince: You guys having fun? Evan gives a thumbs-up to the camera. Yes, we’re all jealous.
Jeff aims his Flip at the pile of deliciousness in the Styrofoam carton.
Evan: This is EverymanHYBRID the underground, unrated version of us eating hoagie. Camera zooms in on the word “HYBRID” on the side of a white Toyota Prius.
Cut to the sidewalk. The group is walking again.
Vince: Can you defend yourself in a fight?
Jessie: Allie showed me.
Evan can be seen holding the Flip now. The camera turns to a street corner with a row of newspaper boxes.
Evan: Welcome to [Podesto?] Look at Nick! Look at Him! Welcome to—Oh, battery’s running out. Camera turns to a Charles Schwab office. Lots of people talking at the same time.
Jeff: It’s all right it’s in the way.
Jessie: [unintelligible] and then you told me about it.
Evan: Hi, Jessie.
Evan: How are you?
Jessie: I’m good.
Evan: Very good.
Jessie: Oh! I’m being filmed from two angles! Oh no! Camera turns to the street again as the group crosses a side street and GF has to watch where he steps.
Jeff: She’s gettin’ hit by both sides.
Jessie: He just divvied my soul!
Cut to car window. GF is now in the leftmost back seat, filming a flock of black birds in a field. Jeff is driving again, Vince has shotgun, Jessie is in the middle back. Evan isn’t visible, but is presumably in the rightmost back seat. The end of “Run to the Hills” is playing.
Jessie: --then you move the seat.
Jessie: [In the back?].
Evan: I am le Quack. Haungh.
Jessie: And I also. Camera is in her face. She smiles, backlit by the sunset. Oh, hello. And I also loved Ren and Stimpy as a child. Just gonna say.
Jessie: Cuz’ everyone knows it’s Log. No one in my Physics class knows what Ren and Stimpy is and that makes me…
Cut to sunset. The car is stationary. A large billboard saying “COME OUT AND PLAY!” is across the parking lot. “Oh No You Didn’t” is playing and Jessie is singing along.
Evan: We’re stayin’…oh, so now we gotta finish the song, is that it?
Jessie: Yep. Evan closes the door and joins in singing.
Vince: ‘Kay, now.
Evan: Now we can take a nap.
- "The Mariner's Revenge Song" plays in the car. This song is also in the CanYouSeeTheWords post from 10/4/10.
- "Run To the Hills" by Iron Maiden and the end of "Oh No You Didn't" by the Wojahn Bros also play.