|The Night Jog|
March 26, 2010
"EverymanHYBRID #2: The Night Jog" is the second video in the EverymanHYBRID series. This video contains the first "Slenderman" footage in the series.
[Join Vinny for a relaxing night-time jog to finish off a long day!
[Vinny is sitting alone in front of a notebook that says "NEXT WEEK: DREAMS"]
Vince: How's it goin', interwebs? Today we are going to show you the importance of jogging and stretching. Now, most of you go, "I know how to jog and, hell, I know how to stretch." But we're going to show you how jogging can be both exercise and relaxing at the same time. We're going to do what I like to call "The Sunset Jog." It's where you go to the nicest spot in the park you can find, jog until the sun sets, come home, take a nice jacuzzi, and then stretch.
[The intro plays. Text is shown on screen.]
Your Go-To-Guide for Health on a Budget
EverymanHYBRID Nutritional Correspondent
Camera & Editing
[The scene switches to Vince's car. He is driving and it is nighttime.]
Vince: Hey guys, what's up? Just got back from my, uh, evening jog. It was beautiful. I got to watch the sun set by the lake. Now, a little word of advice if you're gonna take, you know, a nighttime jog is you wanna go a little bit before sunset [light audio static] and you wanna make sure it's a brisk jog, because if you go-- if you exert too much energy you'll be too, um... energetic, basically, for the rest of the night. You won't be able to sleep. Also, a good idea is to, after your jog, you might want to take a hot jacuzzi. What happens is, when you take a jacuzzi, the temperature actually raises your body heat. That releases antibodies and your antibodies actually heal your muscles.
[The scene switches to inside of a house. Evan stands with a yoga mat in front of a glass door. There is a barely discernible figure behind the glass door.]
Evan: Hey guys! Ummm, we are comin' to you after this, uh, nighttime jog that Vince was just havin' and uh, I thought this would be a good opportunity to talk to you guys about yoga. Now, um, yoga, yeah, sounds like a chick thing, but it's actually not. It's really helpful for your muscles. So let's for example, umm, you were just running like Vince was just doing. What you wanna do is make sure that you're stretchin' out your legs, okay, and though this isn't necessarily yoga, it's still stretchin', it's still important.
[Evan begins stretching his legs.]
Evan: So what you can do is you grab your foot like this and kinda pull on it. Count to about fifteen, just about fifteen seconds, you know, one Mississippi, two, and that'll stretch out your, um, your thighs right here and that's gonna help out 'cause that's what you're usin' for runnin'. Stretch out each leg evenly.
[Evan leans down and grabs his yoga mat, unravels it, and lays it down on the floor while speaking.]
Evan: And now another one you can use for your legs is called a downward dog stretch. I'll show you what that looks like right here on my... yoga mat!
[The video jumps forward slightly. Evan is getting into the downward dog stretch position on the mat.]
Evan: ...A good thing for the calves. You wanna go down on your hands and knees and go up on your toes. Try to push the heel of your foot towards the floor, alright? So you're kinda goin' up... urghh... push it towards the floor, switch your feet, start pushin' that, goin' almost like a mountain climber stretch, or you could do both feet at the same time. I like to do one at a time 'cause then you know that you're stretchin' it real good, alright?
[Evan stands back up.]
Evan: So that's the downward dog stretch. Now let's say that you were doin' other muscles. Let's say you weren't just joggin'. Maybe you were lifting, maybe you were doin' some cardio, hittin' a bag, somethin' like that. Maybe you were doin' some crunches, workin' your abs. Here's a good ab one. After you guys are done your crunches... AFTER, not before.
[Evan gets back on the mat to demonstrate the next position.]
Evan: You're gonna be, uh, usin' all your muscles, crunchin' hard, and what you wanna do is you wanna lie on your belly, push straight up, ahh, into it. This is called a cobra stretch. Other people call this a downward dog stretch, but those people are stupid. This is much more like a cobra than a dog.
[Evan stands back up.]
Evan: So, what that does is it stretches out the muscles that you just worked, so now not only will you get a rock-hard, beautiful stomach, but also you're real flexible, so you can do that.
[Evan starts some odd form of male belly dancing.]
Evan: In case you guys need to do that at all... or wiggle, or break dance, you know. In case you need to do that kind of shit. Alright, so...
Vince: [cutting Evan off] Evan hinted at it before with the key word "after." Stretching too much beforehand actually weakens your muscles and makes it harder to complete the task at hand, so if you were gonna lift you don't want to do an intense arm stretch. If you were gonna do ab work, you don't want to do the cobra stretch BEFORE your workout. While it is good to do a light stretch just to make everything limber up so you are able to do the workout, keep the yoga and stuff strictly after.
- (Presumed) Fake Slendy is visible at 1:23, on the right side of the screen. He is accompanied by static.
- Another presumed sighting is at around 2 minutes in, to the left.